Oh My God
by AlyssaLies28
Summary: Kuwabara is the last remaining spirit detective. In his final year of college, he is under so much stress Koenma begins to worry. Koenma may never have been good at keeping the detectives he's handpicked, but he will never let his only volunteer drown under the pressure of life.


_Just started my program this week! It's crazy strict and mega high pressured, so that means I'll either slow down in my writings or go crazy with them to escape the oppression of the program. Maybe the latter since I have about 20 stories in various stages of completion! This idea about a Koenma/Kuwabara interaction popped into my head and I had to write it up. I plan on a second part at least, cause it has a whole new world that's different than my usual stories that I want to explore. Enjoy~_

"Here's that report from the Crystal case. Sorry it took so long gettin' to ya. Finals and all ya'know."

Kuwabara tiredly smiled at the young demigod currently taking a break from the usual constant paper pushing. He slide the manila fold across the already paper strewn desk and collapsed into the incredibly comfortable plush chair behind him. A groan of effort trickled from him as he struggled to lift up each foot and prop them on Koenma's desk.

"I am more than aware of your schooling and its schedule," Koenma intoned.

Eyes closed, Kuwabara quickly started to fall into a light doze. The last two weeks were as close to Hell Kuwabara hoped he ever got. He had a lot of blood that wasn't his on him, but considering it was all done on the order of the Gods he was hoping for a get outta jail free card. Then again spirit detective services weren't going to save Yusuke. Kuwabara knew King Enma had Yusuke slotted for Hell. The big man was intimidated by the Mazoku and for that Yusuke would forever be condemned in the eyes of Judgment. Kuwabara had spent the last decade collecting a sizable amount of favors from higher up in the spirit world and he was planning on garnering more so he could cash in before he died. Maybe by that time he'd have enough IOU's to get his buddy a pair of wings.

If it weren't for the evaluating gaze giving him the rover over, Kuwabara knew he could a catch up a little on the two weeks of missed sleep. Giving up on the catnap, he blearily looked at Koenma, a thoughtful expression slabbed on his face. Kuwabara knew something had the young God all worked up to get him sucking his pacifier so earnestly.

In the past few years, Kuwabara was glad Koenma had 'graduated' into his teenaged body. It was more fitting for how serious Koenma typically was. It even suited his childish side. The body upgrade must have given Koenma a sense of security to act silly cause he did it more and more often now, sometimes even spending the day out with Kuwabara as experiencing firsthand the society of humans he worked to protect. And Kuwabara felt more professional working directly under someone who looked close to his own age as opposed to someone he could have fathered.

"What's eatin' you, prince boy?" Kuwabara asked in a gravelly voice dripping with sleep. Minutes passed before Koenma gave any signs he'd heard his employee speak.

The Jr. on Koenma's forehead scrunched as a dazed confusion spread across his face. "Huh?" he said distractedly.

Kuwabara smiled unenergetically at Koenma's lost in thought. With a heaved sigh, he pushed himself more upright and leaned toward his boss, bearing the weight of his upper body on his elbows resting atop his knees.

"Tell me what's doing," Kuwabara insisted.

Koenma scowled at Kuwabara. "What's doing? You're what's doing!" he yelled out in frustration, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

Kuwabara blinked. Then jumped in a delayed reaction at Koenma's outburst. It was his turned to wear a look of confusion. "Huh? What the Hell'd I do? I told you exams were eating up my time! And I said I was sorry for the postponed report! _Jeez_!"

Koenma jerked closer to Kuwabara, both now leaning into the cluttered desk glaring at each other. "Damnit, Kuwabara! I'm not talking about some files! I could care less if you gave me jackshit! Yusuke never did and everything was good! This is about you doing too _much_!"

Kuwabara collapsed back into his chair, arms crossed defensively in front of his chest. "You saying I'm weak?"

Koenma did not back down from the fiery stare of his fighter. "Yeah, I am."

The certainty of Koenma's words shook Kuwabara to the core. He was stunned by the lack of faith his boss had for him. Kuwabara knew he had to look stupid with mouth agape and arms now dangling loosely off the armrests.

At the crushed look of the gingered man, Koenma went on to explain softly, urging him to understand his concern. "_Look_ at you Kuwabara. You're totally trashed right now."

Koenma was right. Kuwabara _knew_ he was right, but he didn't want to admit that he was struggling to balance the last year of university, spirit detective duties, working part time, and just being human and living life. He was doing just fine and he was doing it without his old teammates, too busy with demon world politics to do more than drop by on a visit once every few years. He himself had stopped calling up on them in the demon world when all his attempts were met with the absent of his friends. Demons did not settle. They were hard to find when they didn't want to be bothered, too.

Exhaustion plowed over Kuwabara. His head pulsed with a combination of one mother of a migraine, weeks with minimal sleep, and the concussion he was pretty sure he sustained from that crack to the temple the enemy in the Crystal case laid on him. His right eye was still swollen, casting a blurry quality to his vision that had his exams twice the bitch they usually were. Only yesterday was he able to bend his left knee again and every time he climbed up stairs he could hear the joints grinding together. Blood was also showing up with every coughing fit he fell into. He'd planned on stopping by Genkai's to chat up with the old bird and have Yukina heal him up. Now he wished he would have done that before coming to give Koenma his report, cause it was kinda hard to argue he was doing fine when the evidence of his battered body and his insane lack of sleep were blaringly obvious.

Still, he gave it a try, "I'm _fine_. And I ain't weak. I took down that Momaru guy that stole _your_ crystal. Who leaves a crystal that can take away free willing unguarded?!"

"Admittedly that was a flounder on my part-,"

"Isn't it always."

"_But_ you are still human. You can't be pulling yourself in so many directions. Botan has informed me that you have managed to wear through several years of your life trying to keep your body going strong with your life energy whenever your spirit energy in depleted after a mission."

"So?" Kuwabara asked stubbornly. He knew playing with his life reserves was risky business. Failure wasn't an option, neither was rest. Kuwabara couldn't remember the last break he'd had. With finals over with, his body literally ached with longing to veg over the winter break.

"So? You go on a mission once every week or so, that's so," Koenma exploded, slamming his hands on the desktop as he surged to his feet. His voice was so laden with self hate for forcing so many missions on his sole detective that Kuwabara just had to try to pacify the greatly upset man before him.

"What you want me to do? I can't go shirking on missions or nothin'. They're kinda important."

Kuwabara saw Koenma relax enough to crumble back into his seat. For a moment Koenma and Kuwabara sat and stared at each other.

"I have already informed your supervisor that you will no longer be under his employment."

"What," Kuwabara uttered in disbelief, "I need that job! I gotta pay rent and bills! Eat! You can't _do_ that!"

"Well guess what; I have," Koenma retorted, "From now on you will be compensated for your services to the spirit world."

Kuwabara pulled up short. This was what he'd always secretly hoped for ever since he'd had to pick up a job back in high school. Work and school and fighting didn't mesh well together. He'd lost many jobs due to the no call, no shows surprise missions had tagged to them. When you drop off the grid a lot, it was hard to find steady work.

"That's….fucking amazing," Kuwabara cast around in his head, looking for anything wrong with the arrangement other than the highly illegal fact that Koenma was able to quit for him. "Wait. Since when have Gods had money?"

Koenma rolled his eyes. "Remember? I was expelled from spirit world for a while. I learned how to invest the Dark Tournament owner's prize. Congratulations! You're the first paid detective!"

"You sure about this?" Kuwabara asked wearily. Doubt swam in his eyes and leaked into his voice.

"Absolutely." Koenma reached forward, scooping up Kuwabara's hard working calloused hand into his own soft, pampered ones. "You've well deserved this. You are my first paid detective, but you are also my longest working one. Your level of dedication to the worlds around you is truly astonishing on not only a human level, but in terms of the Gods. If only my father had _half_ the passion for what is right that you do."

The amount of praise and pride Koenma spoke with had Kuwabara's face heating up. His actions largely went unrecognized let alone acknowledged. It was amazing how alert and active he felt as each word of admiration washed over him and lent him strength.

"Th-"

"You don't have to thank me," Koenma cut in. "You have fought hard for all to earn this."

"That's me. Campion of Underdogs," Kuwabara joked slap happily. He couldn't stop the wide, shit eating grin from spread across his face anymore than he could reign in the loud belly deep laughs he choked out. Even more horrifying were the tears his laughter melted into as he broke down and cried about how tired he was with how everything was and with relief that things were already changing. Somewhere between crying for his overburden plate and crying in thanks for the weight off his shoulders, Kuwabara found himself in Koenma's surprisingly strong, sturdy arms.

As Kuwabara came down from his hysteria he felt totally relaxed slumped into Koenma's chest, the steady rhythm of the hand rubbing circles on his back making him limp and his eyes droop.

"I know you said not to, but thanks."

Koenma absolutely _hated_ the sheer amount of gratitude in Kuwabara's hoarse voice. Kuwabara felt the curt nod of Koenma's acknowledgement and took it to mean 'you're welcome'.

The two sat together in comforting silence for hours, curled up on the floor in front of Koenma's desk. After the first few minutes, Kuwabara knocked off, sleeping in Koenma's lap. Koenma rested his cheek against the top of Kuwabara's orange curls. Humming to himself, Koenma passed the time stroked the loose curls and making sure Kuwabara was comfortable enough tucked against his chest to finally sleep for more than twenty minutes.

Eventually, Koenma prodded Kuwabara awake, insisting Botan give him a lift to Genkai's so Yukina could heal all his residual injuries. Just as Kuwabara staggered to the door, Koenma called back out to him. Turning around, Kuwabara was quickly woken up by a pair of chap lips pressing against his own split lip. He was wide-eyed as Koenma pulled back to stare at him lovingly.

"You have always been my favorite detective," Koenma whispered endearingly.

Because he was so shocked by the sudden, albeit reciprocated, advancement, Kuwabara felt back on old habits and jokingly muttered, "And here I thought it was Hiei."


End file.
